For soon-to-be brides and grooms who call off their wedding, there’s the immediate heartbreak that comes with losing someone you planned to spend your life with. Then there’s the logistical nightmare of having to unplan one of the most important events of your life — breaking the news to everyone from your grandma to your gynecologist, swallowing lost deposits, fielding prying questions and fighting stigma in the process.

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Divorce is a traumatic and difficult decision for all parties involved—and there’s arguably no salve besides time to take that pain away. However, when the whole concept of marriage and divorce is reexamined, there’s actually something far more powerful—and positive—at play.